Craving Community

The feeling that home isn’t just a place, but also people. ― Beth Brower, The Unselected Journals of Emma M. Lion: Vol. 3

This article is written by Jessica M. White: Wife. Mom of 5. Seeker of God’s Truth and Beauty. Drinker of ink, baker of chocolate chip cookies, lover of words and learning.

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Many, MANY years ago if one wanted to grow their online reach and build a community they would participate in Link-Ups, where a more popular blog would host an opportunity for writers to drop their link in the comments for other people to read and follow. At one point I created just such a link-up myself called, “Creating Community through Comments”.

Then the internet got faster. People moved from longform writing to social media; twitter and Instagram took off, the bloggers got book deals or moved to the background as people pursued likes and follows, rather than responding in complete sentences.

But at the heart of whatever format used is the desire to be seen, to engage with those who nod their heads and says, “Me too!”

“Friendship ... is born at the moment when one man says to another “What! You too? I thought that no one but myself . . .”

―C.S. Lewis, The Four Loves

Finding that community, gaining that traction, is something that I have struggled with since my first foray into the unknown of the interwebs. Things change faster than many of us can keep up, leaving those who are hobby writers to be lost in the dust, while those who have the resources to “work the system” sprint ahead.

Saturday Brunch at Jacobs & Field in Oxford-Headington, England, Circa 2024.

I don’t begrudge those who succeed. It takes an incredible amount of diligence to be able to do so in the fickleness of the world wide web; but my own desire to engage with my people has remained. After over twenty years of writing online, in varying capacities, I still am no closer to figuring out how to get the words I’m sharing in front of the people who would connect with it.

I’ve read the how-to posts, studied the courses, shared and commented, all with very little ROI for my efforts. Yes, I have managed to make a handful of exceptional relationships over the course of twenty years, and for those I am truly thankful. During some of my loneliest years of adulthood, particularly with small children, it was those online relationships that encouraged me through each day.

Now I am in a different season. I’m here because I truly feel I have something to offer others; whether that is encouragement grown from twenty years of marriage and 16 years of motherhood, or as a woman of God who continues to pursue all that God created her to do. I can’t help but feel that all these years of writing online, of pursuing this avenue, must be for some purpose and to God’s glory.

I’m Nobody! Who are you?

By Emily Dickinson

I’m Nobody! Who are you?
Are you - Nobody - too?
Then there’s a pair of us!
Don’t tell! they’d banish us - you know!

How dreary - to be - Somebody!
How public - like a Frog -
To tell your name - the livelong June -
To an admiring Bog!

In a world where it is incredibly hard and nearly impossible to find our people, we still have an innate desire to be seen and valued. It is this very reason why AI chat buddies are growing in popularity, particularly amongst older and younger people. We want to be known, and in a world that continually replaces God with gadgets, we will continue to search without lasting success.

And so I ask, Why are you on Substack?

What draws you here? What drives you to hit not only the subscribe button, but the paying subscription button (the real test of whether something holds value)? Are you here for what you can get out of it? Or are you here seeking those who spur you on to greater things? Do you pay for a subscription because you support the content someone is churning out or is it supporting the individual who is putting their time in to gathering words?

When I see accounts who have several hundred or thousand subscribers, with paying member only content, I pause. I know they must be doing something right for so many to be willing to give up their hard earned money, and yet…

I see so many writers with only a handful of subscribers (most likely none paying) and look at their work, knowing the amount of time they’re putting in to creating content, doing it because they feel a call to regardless of the payout, and I see myself.

I see myself and know how much a paid subscriber would mean, not because I’m going to suddenly “make it rich”, but because someone is saying “I support you. I appreciate what you’re doing, I know the cost, and I see the value in it and want to support YOU. Not because I’m getting something in return, but because of you.” I would imagine that feeling would be incredible!

In all honesty, I have yet to subscribe to any stacks with a paying subscription. I know that most of us “little guys” are wives and mothers, sneaking in our words between all the responsibilities. We’re not able to churning out a weekly newsletter or daily missives, because we are being faithful to where we are called to first.

For most readers $5 a month isn’t going to break the bank, we probably spend more than that on some little splurge or another; while for others there really is no room in the budget to be a patron of a writer we value (hint engagement goes along way-comments, likes, shares).

What is one to do?

Do what you can.

If that means sharing and commenting, that’s fantastic! All the paid content in the world doesn’t matter if no one ever sees it. If that means using a writer’s “tip jar” when you can, awesome! If that’s a monthly or yearly subscription to a writer, all the power to you! If you’re here, I would imagine it’s because you want to be seen. Whether that’s seeking content that is relevant to you or wanting to grow as a writer and have your work well received, both are important. Make sure that others know you appreciate their work, and hopefully others will do the same for you.

Thanks for reading along, I'm glad you're here!
- JMW

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Thanks for reading this free article from Just A Bit More! This space is where I share my love of creating, whether in words or images, and I’m so grateful your here. Substack is made all the more enjoyable by the those who share in the work of creation. Join us!

Or alternatively, you can contribute to my tip jar on Venmo.

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Everything here on my substack is open to your perusal. While some items are tagged as paid, their entirety (up until personal revelations) is available to you. All words and photos used are my own, unless attributed otherwise. There will NEVER be anything of AI in my Substack, which means that a flawed human, with limited time to write and edit is behind each and every word and image: Adjust your standards accordingly.