Finding God in the Chaos

In a home with 5 kids, ages 9-14, one would expect a bit of chaos. When 3 of those kids are the exact same age, there seems to be a bit more. At least that’s been my experience. More messes, more clothes, more demands. Just more of everything that begins to drive me to hide in the laundry room for a few minutes of peace.

Over the years, I’ve fought against the chaos and I’ve fought against my kids. And I’ve lost on almost every single level. The chaos is here to stay; even if it has changed over the years. I can choose to either embrace it or fight it.

Photo by Brett Jordan on Unsplash

I choose to embrace the chaos. To learn what I can from it.

It took me a while to be okay with that, and I’m still not some days. You see, there’s something that I’ve learned: I am not in control, ever, and that’s a good thing. My children have taught me more about God than I can ever hope to teach them. Their chaos is an everyday reminder of how I’m not in control and I have to trust that God is, in everything.

• The chaos reminds me that even when I can’t hold it together, I don’t have to because God does. {1 Peter 5:7}

• The chaos reminds me to stop and enjoy the people creating it because it won’t be like this for long. {Ecclesiastes 3}

• The chaos reminds me to look beyond the picture-perfect expectations because there’s no way to get this many kids to look at the camera at the same time AND smile. {Colossians 3:1-2}

• The chaos reminds me to put no stock in earthly riches because things get destroyed with kids. {Matthew 6:19-20}

When I’m there, standing amidst the couch cushion tower and the arguing pre-teens, I try not to look at how much picking up and heart work there is to be done. Instead, I try to look at the ones who are making the chaos — how this one is organizing the efforts and that one is asking the other if they’re all right, and I figure it can’t be complete chaos if there is still love.

Just as my children are the chaos in my life, I am the chaos that Christ died for: I and the infinite messes I make, the squabbles for power, and having it all my way. Instead of the chaos, I now see God at work in my heart and my children's hearts. I’m okay with not being in control, of simply existing in the chaos, because I know that no matter how chaotic my home may be, God is still in control.

As long as it’s just my life that’s in chaos — that my and my children’s hearts are ordered for Christ as they should be — then we’re doing okay. While chaos and I will never be friends, I can embrace the One who even has the chaos in His control, and that’s honestly the only way it should be.